Labrador Deceiver

Ladies and gentlemen: the story you are about to read is true. Only the names have been omitted to protect the innocent.

Sunday September 20th 4.00 AM. Large eighty-five pound dog wakes Master. Dog wants food. Dog is ignored. Dog tries his luck w/ Master number two. 7.00 AM. Master number one lets dog outside. Once back inside, dog indicates hunger. Master number one goes to feed dog. Master number two says, "No, I've fed the dog." Master number one dumps the food back in bucket. Calls the dog a Labrador Deceiver. Dog perplexed. Motions toward his bowl, with his big block head. Evidently, dog feels that Master number one has committed a terrible faux-paw.

On this date, the trial was held in the kitchen. The results of that hearing in a moment. A moment passed. Under the intense light of the bay windows, dog was unremorseful. Dog was convicted of perjury (pawjury?), but was given a suspended sentence.